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Learning to leave the lurking behind
Created on 2006-09-16 20:45:40 (#11162499), last updated 2008-06-09
9 comments received, 240 comments posted
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15 Journal Entries, 0 Tags, 0 Memories, <10 ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 4 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | ballisticbeck |
|---|---|
| Birthdate: | 1979 |
| Location: | Bradford, Yorkshire, United Kingdom |
BioI was born a charlatan and then got worse. At the age of 18 I escaped the clutches of deepest, darkest Wales with the help of an enormous feral guppy and absconded to the godforsaken travesty that is Bradford. It was at this point that loitering became my passion. I traversed the moorlands on foot, translating ethnic slurs for refugees in return for sustenance. I am an outlaw in Airedale. Towards the end of my stormy adolescence, punctuated by inappropriate books, sleeplessness and a sense of indestructibility, I was kidnapped and sent to Uni secreted in a lorry full of cotton buds.
I enrolled on an accelerated course of bitter irony which supplied me with immensely useful paradigms of waffle, pretence and unrestrained verbosity about any subject that might come up in conversation (in particular, those of which I am entirely ignorant). Children trust me.
A recent MRI scan revealed a gaping black chasm where my heart should reside so it should come as no surprise that I freely indulge my enthusiasm for the death sport of totem pole baiting. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I aspire to one day earn 5 gold stars in my McJob but experience has taught me that this feat will be more easily achieved through the judicious application of extortion and menaces with intent. I would describe myself as a happy-go-lucky individual.
I enrolled on an accelerated course of bitter irony which supplied me with immensely useful paradigms of waffle, pretence and unrestrained verbosity about any subject that might come up in conversation (in particular, those of which I am entirely ignorant). Children trust me.
A recent MRI scan revealed a gaping black chasm where my heart should reside so it should come as no surprise that I freely indulge my enthusiasm for the death sport of totem pole baiting. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I aspire to one day earn 5 gold stars in my McJob but experience has taught me that this feat will be more easily achieved through the judicious application of extortion and menaces with intent. I would describe myself as a happy-go-lucky individual.
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